Disappointment

So, I got up this morning feeling really optimistic about this week. I was told I would hear something from my placement officer this week. So I got up, logged into my email, and saw that I had an email from the education desk. I was beyond excited since I wasn't expecting to hear anything until Wednesday at the earliest. My excitement evaporated once I read the email though. Apparently, the program I was originally nominated for (early Feb. 2011 SSA secondary science education) is already full. The next available position in SSA that I'm qualified for doesn't leave until June. She also told me that if there are any available positions in other regions before June I would be hearing from another placement officer. However, after a quick peacecorpswiki check, it looks like there aren't any non-African countries with science volunteers leaving before June. June. That's another four months of waiting than I was expecting. FOUR MONTHS. I won't even get to hear from a placement officer for probably another three or four months.

So, I cried, I complained, I felt sorry for myself, I called my mom and cried and complained some more. After thinking about it though, it's not such a bad thing. The worst part is simply that I'll have to wait another four months. It's been 262 days since I submitted my application and the thought of waiting another 190ish days is pretty daunting.

On the bright side:
-I get to be with my family another 4 months
-I don't have to rush to pack and leave right after graduation and the holidays
-I can save up some money
-I get to go to my friends wedding!
-I get to be in town for a very special person's 30th birthday
-I will get to visit my dad again before I leave

At first I was angry that my nomination filled up while my paperwork was sitting on a desk waiting to be looked at (I sent everything in in July and I got medical clearance in November). However, I realized that since two programs have recently closed, one of those invitees may have received my spot. I'm completely ok with that, since they should definitely be a higher priority since they've already received an invitation and had to deal with it being canceled. I think that disappointment would be far worse than my delay, at least I wasn't set on a country yet! So, while I am disappointed, I'm continuing to be optimistic. And while I was hoping to have an invitation in my hand this week, I suppose I will have to spend that energy studying for finals and trying to find a job for the next five or six months. Congratulations to everyone who is getting invitations!